Archive for April, 2009

Hello? Is there anybody out there?

Posted in Uncategorized on Tuesday, April 28, 2009 by nightmarewedding

As a huge internet nerd, I love connecting with people on cyberspace. In fact, growing up, most of my friends were people I used to chat with online*. It’s awesome to be able to talk to someone from across the world who shares a common interest with you. I’ve got friends from the shadow casting community, the toy community, art, film… whatever I was interested in, there was a community online for me to join.

However, I’m finding lately that I’m severely lacking in wedding community love. Sure, there is Offbeat Bride, which is really awesome, but is that the only online community out there for a bride like me? I still keep in touch with old wedding Xanga buddies and people who used to blog for Weddingbee, but are there other places to reach out and find some support?  Share ideas? Seek advice when I don’t know what the hell I’m doing (which seems to be all the time)?

What are some of your favourite online wedding communities**?

 

* No, none of them were sketchy internet pedophiles. I did, in fact, meet a whole bunch of them in person throughout the years. Hell, Mr. Zombie was an internet buddy at first!

**  TheKnot.com and its countdown clock of doom doesn’t count. It still intimidates me…

Registries will eat us alive.

Posted in Details on Thursday, April 23, 2009 by nightmarewedding

So, Mr. Zombie and I went to our registry consultation today. Originally, we had been hesitant about setting up a wedding/shower registry. We have been more or less co-habitating since we first started dating, so we’ve accumulated everything we could possibly need to live comfortably (thank you, hand-me-downs and Ikea!). However, we don’t really have any really good necessities (ie. we only have one spare set of crappy bed sheets to alternate with our current one and barely any extra bath towels) which would probably come in handy at some point when we move out to a bigger place, so why not, right? It also saves us from receiving 50+ blenders because we didn’t register. After much thought, we finally decided to go with The Bay. It’s everywhere in Canada. It’s got everything you can possibly need under one roof. It’s also fairly decent with its pricing. Why not, right? It can’t be that hard to figure out a wish list from the Bay. 

Well, let me tell you… I don’t know about Mr. Zombie, but I thought my head was going to explode walking in there. I only go into The Bay about once a year, and for good reason… this department store is freakin’ HUGE! How could you possibly narrow down which set of pots & pans are better?! What’s the difference between this espresso maker and that one? They have vaccuums here too? What the heck is this doojiggy? Oh gosh, ADD alert! ADD alert! It was incredibly overwhelming. I was terrified of either going “scanner happy” and scan everything, or go completely catatonic and curl into a ball in the bath department from the decision overload. 

What also makes this a little bit difficult for us is that a lot of the things we are probably going to end up registering for are things that we won’t be using until we eventually relocate to a new home. Sure, we’d love to have a kitchen aid mixer and new fancypants bakeware, but we currently have a makeshift kitchen with a hot plate and a toaster oven. We have no space! What do you do when you don’t have space in your apartment for these things now? How would you plan ahead? How do you get excited for choosing things like place-mats and fancy bedding when you’ve been so content living on bare minimum for so long (and… well… spend most of your time drooling over toys and Apple products instead)? 

Long story short, we didn’t end up scanning anything that day. The registry consultant was nice enough to give us a good guideline of what would be a good idea to add to the registry and how to tackle it. She gave us a catalogue to look over so we can look through it at home and actually think things through before we attack the department store with the scanner. We have another appointment next week. 

Does anyone have any advice on registries?

There IS a “WE” in “wedding”, damn it.

Posted in Uncategorized on Monday, April 13, 2009 by nightmarewedding

While I am a bride documenting this hellish journey of planning our wedding, let me re-iterate that I do, in fact, normally hate weddings and planning them.

Here is my biggest beef with wedding planning: it’s sexist.

Now, I’m normally not a hardcore feminist, but the modern wedding really grinds my gears. Every time I pick-up a wedding magazine: What dresses the BRIDE should wear! On TV: Rich BRIDE Poor BRIDE. Wedding conventions: Only BRIDES may enter for free. Today, I was absolutely infuriated when an email blast for a gift registry arrived in my inbox with the title: “BRIDAL & Gift Registry Event”. 

Why is the modern wedding always marketed as bride-centric? Why do people say that it’s “HER day” and not “THEIR day”? Why do we always forget the groom? To argue this even further, why do we always assume that the wedding market should only appeal to brides of heterosexual couples? Many places have made the fantastic leap of legalizing gay marriage now… what about homosexual couples? Can’t they feel the love too? 

With all the attention being placed on brides, it makes me feel… well… insulted. I don’t think it’s fair to market the wedding as the perfect excuse for women to put on the veil and the white dress, walk down an aisle, wear a diamond ring and act like a princess. Having ovaries doesn’t automatically make me that much of a flake to realize that a wedding should be a celebration of TWO people and THEIR decision to make the commitment to spend the rest of their lives together.

The idea that the other party is seen as a passive accessory to the bride is incredibly backwards. Mr. Zombie is very much involved in planning our wedding. He is always present and ready to offer his two cents in any decision making involved with our planning process. After all, he is just as an important part of it as I am. There would be no wedding if he wasn’t there to be a part of it. 

So, wedding vendors and marketers who want my attention, do me a favour? Please don’t overlook the “WE” in “wedding”, K? Thank you.    

I guess I’m married and just don’t know it yet.

Posted in Uncategorized on Sunday, April 12, 2009 by nightmarewedding

When looking for some inspiration for ceremony readings, I came across this excerpt from the book “Uh-Oh” by Robert Fulghum. I thought it was really sweet, honest and quirky, so I’m going to post this on here. 

 

 

“How will I know when to get married or even if I should get married?”

A question asked of me by a former student who has been living with a man for three years. Their romance began in college and kept right on going through graduate school and into the “real” world of jobs and setting up housekeeping. Marriage was not in their plans because as long as things worked out just living together and taking one day at a time, why should they mess with a good thing? But she’s twenty-seven now. “And…well…you know…” she says, shrugging with eyebrows raised in that gesture people use when words can’t get at exactly what’s on their minds.

Well, I do know, as a matter of fact. One of the long-term benefits of having taught school is the ongoing relationship with people who come along behind me going through all the stages of growing older. And I’ve had this conversation before. Quite a few befores, actually.

Here’s Fulghum’s Formula for Marriage Testing, as passed on to my young friend:

“Heather, give me your first gut reaction to three questions.” She’s ready.

“First, if I asked you to take me and introduce me to the person you’ve known at least five years and would think of as your closest friend in the world, who would it be?”

Her eyes answer. “Him.”

“Second, if I asked you to take me to where ‘home’ is for you, where would it be?”

Her eyes answer. “Wherever he is.”

“Third, do you ever lie in bed at night with him, cuddled up spoon fashion, your backside to his front-side, and his arms around you and neither of you is thinking of sex; instead you are thinking how content you are just being there like that—at home with your closest friend, who just happens to be the man you love?”

Quiet. She was in tears. “How did you know?”

Well, for one thing, I have a home of my own.

And I told her that if he feels the same way, they’re married and just don’t know it yet. I pronounced them husband and wife right there. It’s only a question of whether or not she wants to have a party to celebrate that.

And we’re ahead of the game!

Posted in Details, Edibles with tags , , , , , on Wednesday, April 8, 2009 by nightmarewedding

I take back what I said about our reception venue. It has become the ex-boyfriend-turned-boyfriend-who-redeemed-himself. We finally managed to catch the event coordinator at the venue this afternoon and we got to sit down and sift through a lot of details.  In fact, we got through more than what we had planned to accomplish and it feels great!

We managed to figure out some set-up logistics, which gave us all of the answers we needed in order to move forward with everything from schedule to decoration. We know now exactly what projects to give the green light to and what to axe. We can also plan out our game plan for our day and how many slaves helpful friends we need to rally up for certain tasks.

We also got to pick our menu! We’ve both been huge fans of the food served in our venue and so we were really excited for this part. Our event coordinator was really helpful in figuring out how much food was adequate to order. It turned out that we were pretty bang-on with the amount of food we were thinking of ordering when we made the list last night. The bill, which we had over-estimated to accommodate a guest list of 90 wasn’t that painful either. In fact, we would be under-budget even with taxes and gratuities. 

We are pretty stoked about the food we decided on. Not only are there comfort favourites such as poutine and gourmet mini-burgers, but we also have a ton of awesome vegetarian hors d’ourves and other fancy finger-foods with even fancier names I can barely pronounce. Our bar will even include a special blue drinks that comes in a little glass vial for all our nerdy friends.

The best part of this meeting? There really was no hidden fees. All this time, we had been dreading about different prices popping up for this, that and the other thing… but practically everything was included in the costs we had initially talked about. Wow. Impressive.

So for now, everything is coming up Milhouse!

Zombies heart Tim Burton

Posted in projects on Monday, April 6, 2009 by nightmarewedding

rsvp

 

What do you think? Is this illustration appropriate for our RSVP postcards? We think so! 

I am an illustrator, so i make any excuses I can to draw. Given that our wedding lends itself to all kinds of wacky doodles, I’m totally taking advantage of the situation. There will be tons more crazy cartoons coming soon!

Well, they’re almost perfect…

Posted in Outfit on Sunday, April 5, 2009 by nightmarewedding

zshoes

If I could actually walk in them…

Where are you, perfect wedding shoes for Miss Zombie?