I guess I’m married and just don’t know it yet.

When looking for some inspiration for ceremony readings, I came across this excerpt from the book “Uh-Oh” by Robert Fulghum. I thought it was really sweet, honest and quirky, so I’m going to post this on here. 



“How will I know when to get married or even if I should get married?”

A question asked of me by a former student who has been living with a man for three years. Their romance began in college and kept right on going through graduate school and into the “real” world of jobs and setting up housekeeping. Marriage was not in their plans because as long as things worked out just living together and taking one day at a time, why should they mess with a good thing? But she’s twenty-seven now. “And…well…you know…” she says, shrugging with eyebrows raised in that gesture people use when words can’t get at exactly what’s on their minds.

Well, I do know, as a matter of fact. One of the long-term benefits of having taught school is the ongoing relationship with people who come along behind me going through all the stages of growing older. And I’ve had this conversation before. Quite a few befores, actually.

Here’s Fulghum’s Formula for Marriage Testing, as passed on to my young friend:

“Heather, give me your first gut reaction to three questions.” She’s ready.

“First, if I asked you to take me and introduce me to the person you’ve known at least five years and would think of as your closest friend in the world, who would it be?”

Her eyes answer. “Him.”

“Second, if I asked you to take me to where ‘home’ is for you, where would it be?”

Her eyes answer. “Wherever he is.”

“Third, do you ever lie in bed at night with him, cuddled up spoon fashion, your backside to his front-side, and his arms around you and neither of you is thinking of sex; instead you are thinking how content you are just being there like that—at home with your closest friend, who just happens to be the man you love?”

Quiet. She was in tears. “How did you know?”

Well, for one thing, I have a home of my own.

And I told her that if he feels the same way, they’re married and just don’t know it yet. I pronounced them husband and wife right there. It’s only a question of whether or not she wants to have a party to celebrate that.


One Response to “I guess I’m married and just don’t know it yet.”

  1. accordionsandlace Says:

    I absolutely LOVE this excerpt! It made me tear up at work. Awesome find.

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