Archive for August, 2009

Ex-boyfriends and pre-wedding nightmares

Posted in Uncategorized on Saturday, August 22, 2009 by nightmarewedding

Before meeting Mr. Zombie, I casually dated about handful of guys. As far as serious relationships went, I only had one previous. We’ll call him Spice Boy. Spice Boy and I dated for about two and a half years, two good years too long now that I look back on it. Let’s just say it was two years of misery and depression for me, and needless to say… the relationship didn’t end very well. By the time I met Mr. Zombie, I was admittedly so man-hating and damaged that it still sometimes surprises me that I managed to let myself fall in love again.

I hadn’t seen Spice Boy in about four years. People tell me that one of these days I’d probably end up bumping into him, especially since it seems to be a wedding tradition (or curse?) with a lot of brides I know. Aunts, friends, friends of friends, I had heard many stories about women going through years and years not seeing an ex, and as soon as they get engaged, POOF! There is that douchebag from the past, buying a hot dog on the street corner while they’re walking to work… or he’s sitting two tables away at a restaurant the night before the wedding… or, in my oh-so-lucky case… he moved into the apartment directly across the street from the wedding venue. 

Yeah. I know. TWILIGHT ZONE. 

As a result of this disturbing discovery I made about a week ago when I bumped into him and sat through that awkward small talk, I had been getting the first of what I’m sure will be many pre-wedding nightmares. I heard this happens to many too. People dream of the most terrible things… of all their flowers being dead, their dress falls apart down the aisle and they’re naked, their future husband gets eaten by zombies… my dreams consisted of my ex crashing my wedding and convincing me to run away with him instead. Had it been done in an amusing way like in “The Graduate”, or better yet, The Simpsons’ parody of “The Graduate”, I would have found the whole dream amusing. Instead, the dreams were as melodramatic as scenes from a Nicholas Sparks novel. I know. Vomit. Apparently, this is also a common dream for pre-wedding individuals. How unsettling is that?!

As terrible as the nightmares were, I feel wonderful and RELIEVED waking up in the morning and realizing that I’m still actually still in bed in my regular apartment with Mr. Zombie beside me. Seeing past lovers, as unsettling as the experience may be really puts things in perspective for your current relationship that you’re about to commit a lifetime to. I feel much more comfortable in my own skin now than I ever was before meeting Mr. Zombie, and it’s simply because he loves me unconditionally… something that I had never really experienced with other guys in my past. It’s actually pretty nice. 

To Spice Boy, thanks for giving me the darkest years of my life. I hope you look out your window on Halloween to watch my husband and I walk out of the theatre hand-in-hand, about to spend the rest of our lives happily together while you sit alone in the dark playing your online poker. Now eat that karma, douchebag.

Minimoon is booked!

Posted in Honeymoon with tags , , on Saturday, August 8, 2009 by nightmarewedding

We call it the minimoon because the real honeymoon will commence in spring of 2010 when Mr. Zombie and I venture off into the far lands of Asia and USA for a month’s worth of multi-city backpacking misadventures. Since this expedition was going to be so big, we decided that the right-after-wedding-getaway had to be significantly smaller. We had thought about flying somewhere exotic and do one of those resort packages that were typical choices for honeymoons, but instead we decided to stay close to home despite the cold late fall weather. 

We decided to go to Montreal. 

Montreal is one of our favourite cities in Canada. It’s got a thriving art scene, amazing history and most importantly it has some of the best poutine dishes around (not to mention the Montreal smoked meat and the yummy Montreal bagels, Omnomnomnom!). We had only been there twice together in the span of our relationship, but during both times we were always too busy to really explore the city. Montreal is also Mr. Zombie’s city of birth. 

One of the main attractions we are looking forward to is the very place we are staying in. It is a cozy little Bed and Breakfast in the middle of the city that is named after one of my most favourite books of all time: Le Petit Prince. Mr. Zombie had discovered this little gem a couple of years ago when we both decided that we were in desperate need for a vacation (we ended up not going there though and went to his family cottage instead). This place looks absolutely adorable in photos. Each room in the house has a different colour theme, some of which had hot tubs (a luxury that neither of us have frequent access to), a fireplace and a private balcony. It seems like the perfect peaceful atmosphere for newlyweds. We’re excited. We booked our room this week!

To lessen the travel stress, Mr. Zombie and I also decided to ditch the rental car idea* and travel in style by train. We were fortunate enough to be able to take advantage of the Via Rail seat sale at the end of July so we got our tickets at 60% off. Win win!

So, yes… our minimoon is booked. I can’t wait for a relaxing vacation after all the wedding planning stress!

 

* Driving would have been insane, especially in Montreal where almost every driver seems like a maniac. Sorry I’m generalizing, but I feared for my life every time we drove around Montreal… 

Meeting the officiant

Posted in Events, Friendors with tags , , , on Saturday, August 8, 2009 by nightmarewedding

With all the other frilly details like food and favours, it seems the actual wedding ceremony itself ends up taking a bit of a while sitting on the sidelines. No one wants to tackle it right away because, well, it’s too meaningful to deal with lightly. At least, we felt intimidated by it. Mr. Zombie had only been to one wedding ceremony so far (Scott and Ramona’s last year) and I had been to a lot of weddings in my lifetime, and most of them had been lavish Filipino Catholic weddings. Given the kind of people we are and the theme of our wedding, it’s kind of hard to find the right words to make a ceremony fun and unique without getting rid of the sincerity of the event. Thank Jebus we have a wedding officiant who totally puts the best movie wedding officiant to shame.

Best. Movie. Officiant. Ever.

We met up with our wedding officiant earlier this week. She was referred to us by All Seasons Weddings, a sort of wedding officiant collective that pairs you up with the best officiant for whatever kind of ceremony you want to have. She was stoked to do a Halloween wedding, we were told that this wasn’t her first (apparently she did a vampire themed wedding one year, AWESOME!!!!). We were pretty excited to have her as our officiant, especially since her short blurb on the website talks about her support for same sex marriage and how proud she was to live in a country where we have the right to marry who we love regardless of sex (something that Mr. Zombie and I are also huge supporters of). Well, after finally meeting with her this week, both of us are even more stoked to have her as our officiant. She is a very interesting person, funny as hell and a total geek at heart! I wouldn’t be surprised if we kept in touch long after our wedding is over. In fact, she and her husband are also filmmakers who are working on some neat projects that both Mr. Zombie and I would love to help out with (A zombie film? Who wouldn’t want to work on that?). It turns out that she is also friends with another friend we have in the film industry who was invited to the wedding. Small world, huh?

Anyway, Mr. Zombie and I really had no idea what we wanted in a ceremony. The only things we wanted to acknowledge were Halloween, celebrating the movie theatre we’re getting hitched in, as well as some other geeky references. Our officiant didn’t shake her head in disbelief at any of our seemingly silly suggestions. She had many excellent ideas to make our ceremony our own. She even came up with an awesome way to incorporate some wedding traditions from our cultural backgrounds into the ceremony: a mix between traditional Scottish hand-fasting and the Filipino cord and veil ceremony. We’re really excited to see what she is going to come up with!

After jotting down all our notes and ideas, we ordered some pizza and chatted for hours with her and her husband about filmmaking. We had a great time and it felt wonderful knowing that our ceremony was in good hands. She is going to send us a draft of her custom ceremony for us in a few days. Yay!

Now, all we need to worry about is writing our own vows. Any suggestions on where to start?

Showered with presents and CUPCAKES!

Posted in Events on Saturday, August 1, 2009 by nightmarewedding

Today was seemingly the first day of REAL summer here in Toronto. The sun was shining and the it was warm for once. A damn perfect day to hold a bridal shower!

DSC_0571

My mom, FMIL and bridesmaids had been planning this event for weeks. Admittedly, I wasn’t too keen on the idea of having a bridal shower at first. I wasn’t too thrilled on throwing a party that focused only on me, and I grew up with having mostly guys as friends so I didn’t know what to expect from a backyard full of estrogen. It was something my mom had insisted I should experience, and in the end I’m really glad I did this because man… my bridal shower was so much fun!

My parents hosted the event at their house in the suburbs. They had been doing some minor renovations to this house for weeks, making sure that the backyard was all prettyfied for the big event. In typical Filipino fashion, my parents also went all out on the food and prepared a feast that could probably feed a small country. While they took care of the hosting and the food, my FMIL flew in from Ottawa and took care of the games. The bridesmaids took care of decor and logistics. They also started the cupcake trend that my shower ended up following.

Women from different parts of my life all got together today at my parents backyard, which was really interesting to experience. I had a couple of childhood friends who knew me since I was 11, a couple of people from work and film school, and a huge chunk were girls from my shadow cast. My relatives (including my adorable baby niece Stella) as well as Alex’s aunt, cousin and godmother were also in attendance. Seeing many people you love together in one spot was the highlight of the whole thing, and it really made me realize how special our wedding would be just to have them all there too.

Also, I must admit that getting presents is always freakin’ sweet! I felt like I was five-years old having a kids party with people showering me with snazzy presents… only this time I was getting a little too excited over salad bowls, bedsheets and spice racks (… have I really gotten this old?!). Registry aside, I was really impressed at how well these women knew me (even if most of them failed the “How well do you know Mr. and Miss Zombie” game FMIL Zombie had). 90% of them got red and black wrapping paper, which meant that my paper plate hat was coordinated in a super epic way!

IMG_0088

While I opened presents, Ramona was sitting beside me, deeply concentrated as she constructed this paper plate hat using bows and tissue paper from the gifts. Yes. It was totally made of awesome.

DSC_0620

We spent an entire afternoon playing games, opening presents and eating. Once we were stuffed with food and cupcakes, MORE cupcakes showed up at the end of the shower when my wedding cake baker, Lena showed up with a batch. She also had quick prototypes of our wedding cupcakes. They are as yummy as they look.

CSC_0644

I’m still bouncing off the sugar high I’m on right now from the amount of cupcakes I’ve eaten. I’m sure everyone still is. My Facebook News Feed is flooded with comments about cupcakes.

Anyway, here are some fun photos from the day. Best. Shower. Ever.

 

DSC_0506

DSC_0629

IMG_0030

DSC_0568

IMG_0106

0001

0002

0003IMG_0021
DSC_0591

(My baby niece was the youngest shower attendee. Not going to lie… she made my ovaries tingle).
 

To all the women who shared their estrogen to the shower: Thank you so much for coming and giving me some love! 🙂