Ex-boyfriends and pre-wedding nightmares

Before meeting Mr. Zombie, I casually dated about handful of guys. As far as serious relationships went, I only had one previous. We’ll call him Spice Boy. Spice Boy and I dated for about two and a half years, two good years too long now that I look back on it. Let’s just say it was two years of misery and depression for me, and needless to say… the relationship didn’t end very well. By the time I met Mr. Zombie, I was admittedly so man-hating and damaged that it still sometimes surprises me that I managed to let myself fall in love again.

I hadn’t seen Spice Boy in about four years. People tell me that one of these days I’d probably end up bumping into him, especially since it seems to be a wedding tradition (or curse?) with a lot of brides I know. Aunts, friends, friends of friends, I had heard many stories about women going through years and years not seeing an ex, and as soon as they get engaged, POOF! There is that douchebag from the past, buying a hot dog on the street corner while they’re walking to work… or he’s sitting two tables away at a restaurant the night before the wedding… or, in my oh-so-lucky case… he moved into the apartment directly across the street from the wedding venue. 

Yeah. I know. TWILIGHT ZONE. 

As a result of this disturbing discovery I made about a week ago when I bumped into him and sat through that awkward small talk, I had been getting the first of what I’m sure will be many pre-wedding nightmares. I heard this happens to many too. People dream of the most terrible things… of all their flowers being dead, their dress falls apart down the aisle and they’re naked, their future husband gets eaten by zombies… my dreams consisted of my ex crashing my wedding and convincing me to run away with him instead. Had it been done in an amusing way like in “The Graduate”, or better yet, The Simpsons’ parody of “The Graduate”, I would have found the whole dream amusing. Instead, the dreams were as melodramatic as scenes from a Nicholas Sparks novel. I know. Vomit. Apparently, this is also a common dream for pre-wedding individuals. How unsettling is that?!

As terrible as the nightmares were, I feel wonderful and RELIEVED waking up in the morning and realizing that I’m still actually still in bed in my regular apartment with Mr. Zombie beside me. Seeing past lovers, as unsettling as the experience may be really puts things in perspective for your current relationship that you’re about to commit a lifetime to. I feel much more comfortable in my own skin now than I ever was before meeting Mr. Zombie, and it’s simply because he loves me unconditionally… something that I had never really experienced with other guys in my past. It’s actually pretty nice. 

To Spice Boy, thanks for giving me the darkest years of my life. I hope you look out your window on Halloween to watch my husband and I walk out of the theatre hand-in-hand, about to spend the rest of our lives happily together while you sit alone in the dark playing your online poker. Now eat that karma, douchebag.


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