Archive for the Uncategorized Category

Who doesn’t love Grover?

Posted in Uncategorized on Saturday, November 21, 2009 by nightmarewedding

I just wanted to quickly share this clip from Sesame Street that I found absolutely adorable. Grover, I love you!

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One day more…

Posted in Uncategorized on Friday, October 30, 2009 by nightmarewedding

My brain is mush with all the last-minute wedding projects, so I’ll keep this short and sweet and leave the rest for recaps.

OMFG WE’RE GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW!!!!! SQUEE!!!!!

See you on the other side!

Ex-boyfriends and pre-wedding nightmares

Posted in Uncategorized on Saturday, August 22, 2009 by nightmarewedding

Before meeting Mr. Zombie, I casually dated about handful of guys. As far as serious relationships went, I only had one previous. We’ll call him Spice Boy. Spice Boy and I dated for about two and a half years, two good years too long now that I look back on it. Let’s just say it was two years of misery and depression for me, and needless to say… the relationship didn’t end very well. By the time I met Mr. Zombie, I was admittedly so man-hating and damaged that it still sometimes surprises me that I managed to let myself fall in love again.

I hadn’t seen Spice Boy in about four years. People tell me that one of these days I’d probably end up bumping into him, especially since it seems to be a wedding tradition (or curse?) with a lot of brides I know. Aunts, friends, friends of friends, I had heard many stories about women going through years and years not seeing an ex, and as soon as they get engaged, POOF! There is that douchebag from the past, buying a hot dog on the street corner while they’re walking to work… or he’s sitting two tables away at a restaurant the night before the wedding… or, in my oh-so-lucky case… he moved into the apartment directly across the street from the wedding venue. 

Yeah. I know. TWILIGHT ZONE. 

As a result of this disturbing discovery I made about a week ago when I bumped into him and sat through that awkward small talk, I had been getting the first of what I’m sure will be many pre-wedding nightmares. I heard this happens to many too. People dream of the most terrible things… of all their flowers being dead, their dress falls apart down the aisle and they’re naked, their future husband gets eaten by zombies… my dreams consisted of my ex crashing my wedding and convincing me to run away with him instead. Had it been done in an amusing way like in “The Graduate”, or better yet, The Simpsons’ parody of “The Graduate”, I would have found the whole dream amusing. Instead, the dreams were as melodramatic as scenes from a Nicholas Sparks novel. I know. Vomit. Apparently, this is also a common dream for pre-wedding individuals. How unsettling is that?!

As terrible as the nightmares were, I feel wonderful and RELIEVED waking up in the morning and realizing that I’m still actually still in bed in my regular apartment with Mr. Zombie beside me. Seeing past lovers, as unsettling as the experience may be really puts things in perspective for your current relationship that you’re about to commit a lifetime to. I feel much more comfortable in my own skin now than I ever was before meeting Mr. Zombie, and it’s simply because he loves me unconditionally… something that I had never really experienced with other guys in my past. It’s actually pretty nice. 

To Spice Boy, thanks for giving me the darkest years of my life. I hope you look out your window on Halloween to watch my husband and I walk out of the theatre hand-in-hand, about to spend the rest of our lives happily together while you sit alone in the dark playing your online poker. Now eat that karma, douchebag.

If my maiden name was “Shithouse”, this would be a much easier choice…

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on Saturday, June 20, 2009 by nightmarewedding

To take his name or to stay true to the good ol’ birth name. Ah, the constant debate. For many, I’m sure it’s an easy choice… but when you are quite married to the “take the hubby’s name” tradition, but has ALSO made a name for yourself, making the decision can be a bit more complicated. 

While I’m more or less liberal with everything else, I also admit that I romanticized the idea of taking my husband’s last name. I don’t look at it as a territorial marking, but rather as a symbol of coming together as a single unit. When you share the same last name, I see it as showing ones commitment to be in a family with that person– to have your two separate families become one and to let it grow. If you have kids, sharing the same last name just seems symbolically appealing… not to mention the fact that you don’t have to explain that they are not bastard children even if mom and dad have completely different last names. 

And, well… Mr. Zombie’s last name is… well… pretty bad ass. 

Here is the rub: I am in the process of developing a creative career. While I’m still starting out, my name is already out there making the rounds in its true maiden form: film referrals, business cards, art shows, blogs… hell, I even have a profile on IMDB! If I change my name, I’m scared that professionals in my industry would have a hard time tracking me down and I might lose out on some awesome opportunities. 

So what do I do? I could potentially hyphenate. I mean, it works for Courtney Cox-Arquette, so why not? I guess it boils down me being A: not a huge fan of the dreaded dash and B: too lazy / weirded out by always saying two different last names simultaneously . Yes. I know. Petty excuse. Shut up… but I will have you know that even Anne Brashares made a comment in her Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants series about hyphenated last names being awkward!

I could also potentially just go by one last name for one thing and the other for another. MRS. Zombie for the parent/teacher meetings, tax claims and banking information… MISS Zombie for career-related ventures. But, would that get to confusing? Would I need two different signatures? Oh, the decisions!

Career ladies, how did you figure out your name dilemma? I need all the insight I can get!

Hello? Is there anybody out there?

Posted in Uncategorized on Tuesday, April 28, 2009 by nightmarewedding

As a huge internet nerd, I love connecting with people on cyberspace. In fact, growing up, most of my friends were people I used to chat with online*. It’s awesome to be able to talk to someone from across the world who shares a common interest with you. I’ve got friends from the shadow casting community, the toy community, art, film… whatever I was interested in, there was a community online for me to join.

However, I’m finding lately that I’m severely lacking in wedding community love. Sure, there is Offbeat Bride, which is really awesome, but is that the only online community out there for a bride like me? I still keep in touch with old wedding Xanga buddies and people who used to blog for Weddingbee, but are there other places to reach out and find some support?  Share ideas? Seek advice when I don’t know what the hell I’m doing (which seems to be all the time)?

What are some of your favourite online wedding communities**?

 

* No, none of them were sketchy internet pedophiles. I did, in fact, meet a whole bunch of them in person throughout the years. Hell, Mr. Zombie was an internet buddy at first!

**  TheKnot.com and its countdown clock of doom doesn’t count. It still intimidates me…

There IS a “WE” in “wedding”, damn it.

Posted in Uncategorized on Monday, April 13, 2009 by nightmarewedding

While I am a bride documenting this hellish journey of planning our wedding, let me re-iterate that I do, in fact, normally hate weddings and planning them.

Here is my biggest beef with wedding planning: it’s sexist.

Now, I’m normally not a hardcore feminist, but the modern wedding really grinds my gears. Every time I pick-up a wedding magazine: What dresses the BRIDE should wear! On TV: Rich BRIDE Poor BRIDE. Wedding conventions: Only BRIDES may enter for free. Today, I was absolutely infuriated when an email blast for a gift registry arrived in my inbox with the title: “BRIDAL & Gift Registry Event”. 

Why is the modern wedding always marketed as bride-centric? Why do people say that it’s “HER day” and not “THEIR day”? Why do we always forget the groom? To argue this even further, why do we always assume that the wedding market should only appeal to brides of heterosexual couples? Many places have made the fantastic leap of legalizing gay marriage now… what about homosexual couples? Can’t they feel the love too? 

With all the attention being placed on brides, it makes me feel… well… insulted. I don’t think it’s fair to market the wedding as the perfect excuse for women to put on the veil and the white dress, walk down an aisle, wear a diamond ring and act like a princess. Having ovaries doesn’t automatically make me that much of a flake to realize that a wedding should be a celebration of TWO people and THEIR decision to make the commitment to spend the rest of their lives together.

The idea that the other party is seen as a passive accessory to the bride is incredibly backwards. Mr. Zombie is very much involved in planning our wedding. He is always present and ready to offer his two cents in any decision making involved with our planning process. After all, he is just as an important part of it as I am. There would be no wedding if he wasn’t there to be a part of it. 

So, wedding vendors and marketers who want my attention, do me a favour? Please don’t overlook the “WE” in “wedding”, K? Thank you.    

I guess I’m married and just don’t know it yet.

Posted in Uncategorized on Sunday, April 12, 2009 by nightmarewedding

When looking for some inspiration for ceremony readings, I came across this excerpt from the book “Uh-Oh” by Robert Fulghum. I thought it was really sweet, honest and quirky, so I’m going to post this on here. 

 

 

“How will I know when to get married or even if I should get married?”

A question asked of me by a former student who has been living with a man for three years. Their romance began in college and kept right on going through graduate school and into the “real” world of jobs and setting up housekeeping. Marriage was not in their plans because as long as things worked out just living together and taking one day at a time, why should they mess with a good thing? But she’s twenty-seven now. “And…well…you know…” she says, shrugging with eyebrows raised in that gesture people use when words can’t get at exactly what’s on their minds.

Well, I do know, as a matter of fact. One of the long-term benefits of having taught school is the ongoing relationship with people who come along behind me going through all the stages of growing older. And I’ve had this conversation before. Quite a few befores, actually.

Here’s Fulghum’s Formula for Marriage Testing, as passed on to my young friend:

“Heather, give me your first gut reaction to three questions.” She’s ready.

“First, if I asked you to take me and introduce me to the person you’ve known at least five years and would think of as your closest friend in the world, who would it be?”

Her eyes answer. “Him.”

“Second, if I asked you to take me to where ‘home’ is for you, where would it be?”

Her eyes answer. “Wherever he is.”

“Third, do you ever lie in bed at night with him, cuddled up spoon fashion, your backside to his front-side, and his arms around you and neither of you is thinking of sex; instead you are thinking how content you are just being there like that—at home with your closest friend, who just happens to be the man you love?”

Quiet. She was in tears. “How did you know?”

Well, for one thing, I have a home of my own.

And I told her that if he feels the same way, they’re married and just don’t know it yet. I pronounced them husband and wife right there. It’s only a question of whether or not she wants to have a party to celebrate that.